so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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