I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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