He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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