It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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