Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
