She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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