Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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