Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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