I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
