But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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