if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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