is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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