when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
