She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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