is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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