His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
