Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dignity is for republicans.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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