do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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