Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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