So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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