i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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