my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
