I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
