I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
