i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
