You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
