you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
