There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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