): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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