so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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