If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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