Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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