kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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