I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
