So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize