im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
