okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
How does one acquire holy water?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
