Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
