So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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