Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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