And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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