To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
