Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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