so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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