We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
