I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
