okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
