Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
