what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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