a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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