Your dad touched me again.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
