I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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