sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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