You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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