You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
