their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
