do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
