I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize