He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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