Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize