I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
