FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
